You dont know how much that hurts. Knowing that I have lost my only chance with the most perfect girl in the world. So yes when I heard you scream no, I looked over to make sure you were okay. Next thing you know you are straddling him and I have my camera out filming you. Yeah I filmed the whole thing. As much as it pains me to see you with another guy I snuck closer for a better view. You two were enjoying yourselves so much, you didn't notice me. I can use it against you though. I can get you to have sex with me. And if you don't. The video is going on Facebook and YouTube for all to see. How do you like that?!" I sat there and stared. I tried to think of ways to get out of it without having sex with him. " can I see what you have filmed?" I asked politely. " I'm not that stupid. My camera is down my pants and you can only have it if you fuck me!" he said. Obviously he was that stupid because I now knew where it was. I stood up close to him. Pressed my body to his. I put my right. That is the word I used, but what I really wanted was his love.But how could I say that?Diary Entry 8I had to tell him that his work was not up to standard. He could seethat I did not want to. But as I said to him, my standards must be high.Otherwise I would not be the chef everyone expected me to be, includinghim.The worst thing is that I could see that he knew that he was only keepinghis job because of my feeling about him. I could see him thinking aboutwhat he could do if he thought that I could not bring myself to dismisshim. The fact is that I would have dismissed him. Not that he is a badcook, he just not the standard that I require.I have to tell myself that he can get better. So, I told him that thiswas what I wanted. I wanted him that I wanted him to be closer to me,but that he could not expect me to compromise on my expectations in thekitchen. If he was serious about being a top quality chef he needed torespect my expertise, and learn.He agreed to respect me for my.
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